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Where My Sadness Goes...

My creative side...

"No one is ever on time"
 
I'm roaming in this darkness
Trying to find the light.
Where joy will strike me awake
And save me from the night.
 
I pound inside this body
This place is like a jail
I bruise this body with all I have
Because she needs me or she will fail.
 
I scream but no one hears
I cry, but no one sees
Please turn and notice me!
Or death will put me at ease.
 
I beg, let someone love me
Just please let someone care
I really don't need this audience
who laughs at me and stares.
 
Now, I curl up in my lonely corner
with my white knuckles and knife
And I think about what might have been
Instead of this terrible life....
 
I am roaming in this darkness
Wondering if this was fate
'Cause joy has no chance of striking me..
I'm sorry...it's just too late.

 
"I'm Not So Crazy...."
I'm so hard to understand
Everyone looks down on me
I'm the crazy girl with her tears
so many "if's"...then you might see...
 
If you open my heart
You'll drown in my sadness
My heart has been so long
Broken....in a mess.
 
If you search real far,
You'll find me in a lonely place
if you come meet me there...
I'm in a corner...tears on my face.
 
If you listen to my words
You'll hear my confusion
my pain is loud, oh so piercing
Still it's never heard....never a solution.
 
If you QUIT STARING AT ME
and search inside of you!
How can you help me so
when you don't understand what I'm going through??!!
 
If you actually opened your eyes
You might actually care
You'll hold me tight, it's all i need
You'll find some love to share.
 
If you actually opened your ears
You just might understand
I wouldn't be some weird girl
You'd simply hold my hand.
 
If you just please....open your heart.
You'll hear everything
All my screams, so many tears.
You'll finally hear....what I'm not saying.
 

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The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.